Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize