i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
