no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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