so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
