I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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