Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
