I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
