So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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