Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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