Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
