We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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