i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
