he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize