Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
