brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
