I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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