I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
