I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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