So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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