LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
