you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
