Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
