haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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