Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.