He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?