College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha