We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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