I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
