and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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