didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
