So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
