Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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