The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
