Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
