the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
