When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
