On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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