yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
did you just send me my own nude
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
