i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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