We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
