Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
