I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
