She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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