Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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