Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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