I'm lost and stupid without you.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
