so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
