I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
