hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude i'm inner monologue high
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize