Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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