and you said cock pushups were impossible
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
