I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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