I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
