There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
