I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize