We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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