he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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