im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
