I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
