i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
