I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
